What I am most proud of in 2017.

It’s been a pretty difficult year in many ways so this is quite hard to write but I want to try and end the year on a positive note. I have been inspired by many people who I follow on twitter who have been doing posts of what they have achieved in 2017, so here I am following suit. So here are the three things I am most proud of this year.

1. Still being alive. At the heart of it this is my major achievement. In 2017 the depression has hit its lowest ever point. Earlier in the year suicidal thoughts became the norm. Planning ways to commit suicide gradually increased. Finally three visits to a location where I could commit suicide occurred. A multi-storey car park was very appealing. I have explained about suicide in previous posts so I won’t go into much detail here. But certainly I have fought a war with mental illness year and my biggest achievement is I am still alive.

2. Holding it together for my two beautiful boys. Of this I reflect and feel so proud. Never have I been so ill as this year. Lucky to be alive. But despite the illness I have managed to still be a mum to my boys. Most of the time they wouldn’t have known anything was wrong and I have fought so hard to get well for them. They are beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful and very loving. I am proud of the role I have played in their life this year.

3. Returning to work and enjoying it. Back in May/June time I was looking for a way out of my current role. I was so poorly I couldn’t consider going back. Unfortunately money wise I needed to look for an alternative, something that perhaps would cause me less stress. My union representative and I discussed getting a settlement with my employer so that I never had to go back. This was so appealing. So what I really needed in many ways.

But come June I returned to work. Come September after the long teaching summer holiday I returned back to my normal hours and responsibilities. There have been some ups and downs but mainly I have coped and I have actually enjoyed my job. I am proud that I have managed to not let the illness completely overcome me. That even though the illness tried to persuade me to quit my job I listened to friends who advised me to take my time when making important decisions.

So what are you most proud of 2017? Please feel free to share.

P.s. I’m also very proud of publishing my first book on kindle. From tomorrow -2nd January it is reduced to 99p. Please take a look buy and share. Becky x

Be there for me-my book on kindle